“Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.”
Relationships
When you do a bit of a history lesson you can see very precisely and quickly that our ability to create and foster quality relationships with one another is profusely lacking to say the least. Typically, instead of learning and understanding about one another we allow fear and ego to make the decisions and the end result is not so positive. Our past is littered with remnants of relationships that once never were.
So why do we struggle so greatly with the one thing that we need so much? Yes, if we haven't figured out by now we actually need each other. In fact, our whole existence depends on our ability to grow our bond as human beings. Our future should be us putting our past behind us and moving forward to the day the we finally open our eyes and realize... There is only one Race. The Human Race. Yes, we vary in color, size and dialect, but we are all the same. We are actually 99% the same, says our DNA.
We should be able to have a relationship with any human being on the face of the planet. No matter what their beliefs, what their heritage, what their background or their preferences. We all have enough in common no matter who we are, even if that's only one thing, to create a bond and foster a relationship. Actually, we should be able to grow a relationship because we are different and have different beliefs, wouldn't that be an amazing feat to accomplish.
So let's start with the basics of a human relationship. Interestingly enough, some start from likenesses and some start from differences. Which tells us we can do this, no matter who we are. Some people like likenesses, some people like differences, and both approaches work. But the key to all human relationships begins at the core reason we need and desire them. In relationships you either selflessly give and receive or you selfishly take. As I'm sure you can discern the selfish taker typically has short-lived relationships, shallow friendships and ego-crushed affiliations with most. The selfless giver and receiver is typically burned by the selfish taker, but fosters more long-term quality relationships through giving of love, empathy and compassion.
If we enter into every relationship not to be right or wrong, but to learn, understand and grow, imagine the ramifications of our intentions. If our relationships with one another are based on love, empathy and compassion, what are the possibilities of our new found connections.
“We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools.”
It unfortunately seems in our world that fear and ego of the selfish taker reigns supreme; it definitely appears that the majority of people fall into this category. Just watch television for 5-10 minutes, or listen to the radio, or read the news, and it's overwhelmingly obvious that fear and ego are rampant. So if our ability to connect with one another is essential to our happiness and our survival, why then do we the majority sit back and enable this to continue. To take action in human relationships is the greatest step towards our true potential.
Let's be honest with each other, we all have had or still do have a little bit of both, depending on the situation, depending on the job, or the person, or the need, or the desire. But as you know from your past experiences of short-term and long-term relationships you've been involved in, if you act selflessly others typically respond positively, if you act selfishly the opposite typically occurs.
Parents, family, friends, acquaintances, business associates, work or job associates, passerby's on the street or at the mall, online friends across the world, contacts from school, people at the post office, or even just a neighbor. Everyone has the potential of sparking a relationship, short-term or long, positive or not, selfless or the opposite. That relationship has the potential of creating positive in your life and theirs. Even if it's nothing more than a smile in passing, who knows what that deliberate act of kindness could flame in another to reach out and grow.
Relationships are growth, relationships are fun, relationships are positive, relationships are helpful, relationships are fruitful, relationships are a positive connection with humanity, relationships are a compromise not a dictatorship, and are meant to bond us together for the good of all.
Take action. Make relationships what they are suppose to be, teach those who don't understand how relationships can be. Share your deliberate, actionable and selfless kindness with all. That's a relationship. Everything else is just a botched attempt at a waste of time. Humanity is not a waste of time, you are not a waste of time. Give as much as you can, and remember limits are human ideas, fabricated barriers, but you can't make anyone do anything they don't choose to do themselves.
Make friends for the right reason, and you will have an abundance of true friends.
“My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me.”
4 Tips for Growing Relationships:
- Smile & Listen ~ It only takes a simple smile to connect with someone. Add eye contact to that smile and you've got a connection. Always be smiling and always to looking for eye contact. Take action, make that first step, it just takes a smile. Say hello, say hi, say have a great day, just say something positive and you will make a positive impact. Being a good listener is an extremely helpful trait in all relationships. Know when to listen. How do I know that? BE QUIET and Listen. Most of the time our friends don't want our opinion, they just want someone to listen. They'll ask for an opinion, if they want one, otherwise just listen. Remember not to be an enabler of bad habits by doing nothing, but sometimes a supportive listener can work wonders.
- Openess ~ Open communication and honesty is the precursor to the one thing most all of us want out of a relationship, TRUST. If we communicate, if we are honest, if we are open and understanding, if we keep our egos in check, if we understand that compromise isn't failure, compromise is growth. Then we plant the seeds of a quality relationship.
- Don't be Offended ~ The destruction of most relationships stem from our ego-desire to be right or wrong, which also leads to our disagreements on subject matters and causes us to be offended. Just so you know, no matter who you are, you will disagree with something about near every other human being on the planet. That does not mean you cannot have a healthy, friendly positive relationship with that individual. Just agree that you may not agree on some items and move on. Being right is irrelevant in human relationships. Being right is only relevant to the human ego. Don't be offended, be a friend.
- The two A's ~ Affection and Attention, the two things all of us want and need. That comes in the form of a friendship, parent, partner, husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc. From our childhood into our adulthood, these two things connect to our happiness very closely. If our relationship is selfless, open and honest with attention and affection, this ones a keeper. Affection and Attention can simply be spending time with someone, listening, discussing, a hug, or a pat on the back. Essentially making that person realize you care. And for you old school cliche men out there, "stop being a man" and hug your friends, you'll be amazed how they respond.
“Be there for others, but never leave yourself behind.”